funny

The Power of Advertising

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Claire has suddenly developed an opinion on how we should do the online backups for our home computer.  This morning, after watching TV with her breakfast, Claire approached me and said in a serious voice, “Dad, I think we should use carbonite.com.  That way if you lose a file, you can, like, restore it.”  (The way she said “restore”, you could tell this was a new word for her, or at least a new usage of that word.)  Clearly, Claire was doing her utmost to be helpful.  I said, “Thanks for the tip, Claire.  I’ll keep that in mind.  We already use something like that called Mozy.”  Claire’s response was, “Okay.  But maybe we should change to carbonite.com.” And then she wandered off to get dressed.

If you ever doubted the value of a TV advertisement, as I do from time to time, then let this be a lesson.  It sure worked like a charm on Claire.  I am not in a hurry to switch to carbonite.com, though, since it means weeks of uploading all our data to the new service, which means weeks of slow internet access.  Trying to think how to frame that for Claire…How about, “That’s a nice idea, but it would mean learning.com and starfall.com would be really slow and annoying for a while.”  That just might do the trick.

What a dork!

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When Kit got home today, she said Molly looked “really dorky” in her clothes.  Hey, Kit picked out the rainbow shirt.  I just added the purple pants, felt boots, and sloppy pig tails!  She’s adorable! (In a dorky way)

Molly in her dorky outfit
Molly in her dorky outfit. The pom-poms were 100% her idea.

One-Shoe Molly

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Molly sees no need to always wear both of her shoes. Wearing one is just as good — if not better — than two.

Sometimes one of Molly’s shoes comes off by accident, such as when getting out of her little toddler seat at the dining room table. In this case, there is no need to bother retrieving the lost shoe under the table and put it back on. That is a waste of time, people!

Other times — and this variation has yet to be fully explained — she specifically stops and sits down to take off one shoe. Sometimes she takes off the sock too, and sometimes she leaves it on. Then she gets back up and wanders off, proudly wearing a single shoe.

Molly makes this look so natural and purposeful. Could you image an adult walking up to you, wearing a solitary shoe, and just saying, “Hi, can I have a crayon?”, as Molly does. One time Molly had her pants on backwards too, which was a real sight.

Another variation, used mostly in the car, is to take off both shoes, and usually the socks too. This approach seems more sensible and mostly valid, I think. I think we all do this from time to time. The only issue here is the frequency. Some mornings, I have to put Molly’s shoes on three different times before school: once on the way out the door, again when we arrive at Claire’ school, and again when we arrive at Molly’s school.

Maybe Molly’s teachers will allow her to wear those easy-on, easy-off Crocs to school next year, so she can manage most of the repeated donning and doffing on her own.

Pull my finger

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When I was about to unpack Molly from the car today when she looked at me and said with a smile, “Pull my finger!”  her little index finger was outstretched, waiting for me.  Like a sucker, I pulled her finger.  She just smiled, no fart sound or anything.  But she did get me in a sense… Her finger was all slimy and greasy from snot or something.  And within a few days, I was sick.  So I guess the laugh was on me. 🙂

If you tap a birdhouse…

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Tonight when I was getting Claire ready for bed, I was trying to hurry her along, as I tend to do.  Claire does not like being hurried, and she often gets grumpy about it.  “Dad!  Just quit hurrying me!”  But tonight she took a different tact.  When I gently tapped her on the shoulder and said something like, “Claire, are you ready to brush your teeth?”, she just smiled ask said:

    If you tap a birdhouse, it won’t go any faster.

After a few seconds, she added:

    But if you spill it off the bench, it will fly!

Kit and I cracked up at this turn of phrase.  The funny saying lightened up the mood a bit, but sadly, Claire did still have to brush her teeth.

Chair Fan

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Claire has recently observed that I love to sit in chairs.  Whenever I see a chair, she says, I always sit down in it.  I even sit in other people’s chairs, like in restaurants and public places like that.  I countered that it doesn’t seem that unreasonable or even unusual to sit in chairs, that being their primary function.  Still, Claire has dubbed me a “chair fan” for loving to sit in chairs so much.  Occasionally I find myself sitting down to, say, I don’t know… eat dinner, when Claire will say, “Dad, you’re such a chair fan!”  She always has a whimsical smile on her face.  This may be the first recorded case of Claire persistently teasing me.

Earwack

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Tonight during her bedtime story, Claire noticed a little whitish speck on one of the pillows.  She said, “Ew!  I don’t want to touch that earwack!”.  Now, Claire does not just make up words too much any more, so we were wondering what the heck she was talking about.  We finally realized out that “earwack” is singular for “ear wax”.  It was a single speck of ear wax, she was saying, while more than one would constitute “ear wacks”.  That it a pretty good linguistic innovation, in my book.  I guess even at 6 years old, language is still a little confusing.

Molly sees the doctor

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Today Molly was at the doctor for a weight check and sort of a very basic check-up.  This was at 11:00 am, after I had dropped Claire off at school, dropped Molly off at her school, squeezed in a little work, and then picked Molly up to go to the doctor.  Molly was covered in a layer of sticky orange goop when I picked her up at school.  I might have asked the teachers what it was, but was in a hurry, and frankly, I didn’t think much of it since she is often covered in something or other anyways.

These magazines were entirely too well organized.

By the time we arrived at the doctor’s office, Molly had removed both shoes and socks, as she likes to do, and produced a pretty smelly BM (“byem!”) in her diaper.  The check-in nurse thought it was funny that Molly was covered in orange goop and asked what it was.  I shrugged and said I didn’t know, and she thought that was even funnier, I guess since it implied that was just the norm with her.  I cleaned Molly up as we waited.  Two face wipes, six diaper wipes, and two diapers later, she was passably clean with just a few hardened bits of orange goop left on her face.  For the next few minutes, Molly climbed on the waiting benches and rearranged the magazines as we waited.


The weight check showed the same slight weight gain as usual, despite trying to stuff Molly full of calories for the last couple of months.  Besides the weight check, Dr. Miller wanted to get a general feel for Molly’s development.  She asked Molly some questions to get a feel for her verbal development.  Where is your ear?  Where is your foot?  Am I holding up one finger or two?  Molly answered all questions enthusiastically and appropriately.  Then Dr. Miller asked about her family.  Who is your sister?  “Caire”, Molly replied, still skipping the tricky “L” sound a bit.  The next question seemed tough to me: Where is your sister?  I was thinking… How could Molly possibly know where her sister is?  Does she even remember us dropping Claire off at school this morning?  Does she know that is a school?  Does she have any idea what Claire is doing there?  Would she assume Claire is still there?  Molly’s answer amazed me, not only because it showed her perception, but also because it showed she can say a pretty tricky word I had not heard her say before: “kindergarten”.  Yep, Molly nailed it.  These little ones really do know more than you think.

We hurried Molly back to school, rushing to arrive in time for her nap.  For lunch, Molly ate a peanut butter sandwich and some cheese in the car.  By the time we got to school, Molly’s her face had a fresh coat of peanut butter and jelly spread on top of the remaining orange goop, all on top of a contented smile.  She had also removed one shoe and sock, as per the normal protocol.  We arrived just as the teachers were quietly putting the kids down to sleep for their nap, and I didn’t have chance to ask what the heck that orange goop was.  Perhaps we will never know.

Seriously, what is that orange stuff?

Claire’s First Job Offer

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We received a postcard in the mail today from Orvis.  It was addressed to Claire, with the heading “Now hiring”.  It continued, “Many of our valued associates were once our best customers!”  Apparently Orvis is hiring a Fishing Manager and other positions for their new store, and they are interested in five year old girls taking on this responsibility.  Also, apparently, they think Claire has heard of Orvis.

I told Claire about this exciting opportunity, her first job recruitment.  She smiled and said, “What?  I think they think I’m an adult!”  I told Claire that, while she certainly could not spare enough hours to work full time right now, maybe she should consider the part-time Sales Associate position in Women’s Apparel.  She knows something about ladies’ clothing, right?  Claire just giggled and said, “No, Dad!  I’m a kid!”

Okay, I guess I agree with her.  It is too early to commit to a sales position, especially with only a few weeks to go before kindergarten starts.  Maybe she can work hard in kindergarten and apply for a position next summer once she has some report cards to put on the application.  All she has to go on now is basically that her friends and family like her, and maybe a recommendation from a pre-school teacher or two.  But that alone will not get you into the retail sales game, not in this economy anyways.