routine

Drop Off

Image | | patmcg

This is a picture of the start of a typical day for Molly.  Molly has a nice, set routine each school morning.  I won’t got into the all the details of the routine (although I have done that before), but here are a few highlights of how Molly likes her morning to go…

  • Molly always has Cheerios for breakfast but doesn’t finish them and asks for a “to go” for the car.
  • After dropping Claire off at school, and on the drive to Molly’s school, Molly usually initiates some sort of creative activity with me.  It’s anything from “What do you want me to draw?” to “Tell me everything you see that starts with letter S” or an “I’m thinking of something that…” game.  “I’m thinking of something that grows on fences.”, which is flowers, for example.  She always has something to offer.
  • On a related note, the drives home in the evening are less creative and more grumpy.  A favorite question of Molly’s is a whiney “Why do you always have to cook dinner at home?” (I actually pick up food on the way home really often).
  • Once we’re at Molly’s pre-school, we can either take the stairs or the elevator upstairs to her classroom.  Molly always gets to pick.  Lately Molly’s trick is to stand at the hallway between the stairs and the elevator and say out loud, “Hmm…which way?”  And then she’ll suddenly sprint towards the elevator, giggling loudly, trying to get away from me.  She always looks back to make sure I’m chasing her.  It is hilarious to see Molly tear down the hall in a dress and shiny shoes.
  • Once at the elevator, the next game is for Molly to press the “up” button before I can do it, and then to press the “3” button once inside before I can get to it.  It makes Molly giggle even more when I just barely lose to her every time.  By the time we get to Molly’s classroom, she is panting and laughing.
  • Then Molly suddenly gets real quiet when we actually enter her classroom.  It is hard to get a even one word out of her.  Sometimes she gets a little excited to give an extra toilet paper cardboard roll from home to Turbo the Gerbil, but that’s about it.  Normally it’s the quiet little girl you see in the picture above, at least until the afternoon grumps.

Where Did My 3:00 to 6:00 Go?

| patmcg

Okay, this is one of those posts where I just gripe and moan.

I try not to complain in this blog very much.  But griping may be more interesting than all the nice, fun stuff anyways.  I adore the kids and don’t want to complain.  But really, this post is about me more than the kids.  I want to capture this moment so I can remember later just how difficult this period could be.  But it is only tough in a slow, grinding, unrelenting kind of way, not a “You’re pants are on fire!” kind of way.

This post covers the most horrifying part of the day: the late afternoon / early evening.  Below is my late afternoon schedule.  Notice how actual working time magically shrinks to nearly nothing before your eyes.

  • I leave the house to meet Claire at the bus at 2:55 pm, no matter what was going on at work.
    • This is a nice part of the day, and I always look forward to it.  But it is tough on the work schedule.  I avoid 3:00 meetings and sometimes have to take them on the cell phone at the bus stop.
  • After walking back with Claire and setting her up with a snack, I return to work around 3:30.
    • Another great part of the day — probably the best — but again tough on the work schedule.
  • I re-settle into work.  Usually it takes about 15 minutes to really get back fully engaged in work, so now it’s 3:45.  Wow, it’s been nearly an hour since I went to get Claire.
  • Claire needs some help focusing on her homework.  Some days are good, but many are not.  We have to start on homework by 4:15 to make sure we get it done in time to pick up Molly.  Usually that is tight, and sometimes we run over.
  • By 5:15 or 5:30, Claire and I head off to pick up Molly.
  • We are back by 6:00, thanks to the close proximity of Molly’s new school.
    • This is a major improvement over Molly’s old school, which often took nearly an hour round trip despite being only two miles away — freakin’ traffic!
  • Did you notice how much work time there was after 2:55 this afternoon?  Yes, 30 minutes.  How did that happen again?

This leaves me behind at work, automatically, every day.  I have to make up for it at night, every night.

Just to complete the exercise, the day rounds out like this:

  • Dinner, additional homework, and the kids’ bath and bedtime puts us at 8:30 or 9:00, always a little frazzled at this point.
  • Wake up time for school is 6:30 am for school, so there are only a couple of hours left tonight to finish what was left behind when I went to Claire’s bus stop earlier this afternoon.
  • This is also the time to go to the grocery store, handle the mail, do the laundry, plan a birthday party, and so on.  Exercise is also a good idea, and often worth trading for some sleep.
  • The 9:00 to 11:00 “golden hour” is so critical that I just can’t absorb any bedtime problems from the kids.

We tried an after-school nanny, but she did not work out.  She only showed up half the time and wasn’t very engaged when she was here.

We could leave Claire in Extend-a-Care after school.  Maybe that would be fine, but she would only have about an hour a day at home, if even that, aside from going to bed or getting up.

I could let Claire walk home from the bus stop by herself and ignore her once she got here.  But the bus driver made it clear that Claire should not be walking home alone.  In fact, he won’t drop her off if I’m not there.  Besides, I can’t just ignore Claire — sweet, funny Claire.  But she can do her homework alone as far as I am concerned.  🙂

Tuesday: The Best Day of the Week

| patmcg

Claire says that Tuesday is her favorite day of the week.  Yes, Tuesday.

First of all, Claire has “specials” in school on Tuesdays: either Spanish or computer, both of which she enjoys.  Then, Claire rides the bus home on Tuesdays (and Fridays) instead of staying at Extend-a-Care.  This is the schedule that Claire has requested.  Claire likes EaC, where she gets to play on the playground with her friends, do arts & crafts, etc.  But she also likes to come home early on the bus and  just relax.  On bus days, she’ll come home, have a snack, watch a little TV, and then get busy on a drawing project while I finish up work in my home office until about 5:00.  Usually Claire and I work in quiet peace, but occasionally there is some frustration on both sides about needing something / needing to focus on work.

A little after 5:00, it is off to pick up Molly at day care.  Then we all head over to Jason’s Deli, still the girls’ favorite place to eat.  While Molly enjoys cheese pizza, Claire enjoys a salad bar or hot dog, and I indulge in a Pollo Mexicano, Kit magically shows up.  It is just a built-in assumption now that we are eating at Jason’s on Tuesday evenings, and Kit heads straight over from work.

Then usually Claire and I head over to the swim school across the street while Kit (who arrived after us) and Molly (who eats slowly) finish up at Jason’s and head home for bed.  Claire is enrolled in a swimming class, but since she is the only one in the class right now,  she basically has private lessons with Mr. Andrew.  Claire and Andrew work hard and have lots of fun (jumping, throwing, plashing games between laps).  Claire has developed a really nice back stroke and is working on going straight.  Then it is straight home and off to bed.

Ah yes, Tuesdays… specials, bus, chilling at home, Jason’s, swimming.  It just can’t be beat!

Morning Routine

| patmcg

Over the course of Claire’s kindergarten year, we have polished the morning, off-to-school routine.  The challenge is to always get Molly and Claire dressed, fed, packed, and in the car by no later than 7:30 every school day.  Before kindergarten, we were spoiled by a completely flexible morning schedule.  The only time constraint was for me to get back home in time for any morning meetings, and those rarely started before 9:00 am.  It also a general matter of time being precious and me wanted to get the day going.  With kindergarten, we have no such flexibility.  We always have a 7:30 am deadline!

This routine evolved over time, but here is what we ended out with by the end of the school year.  This is partially interesting because a couple of minutes literally can make or break the routine.  It is hard to recover from a 5-minute distraction, and Kit will attest that I do not take well to any unexpected deviation from the routine.

6:20 My alarm goes off

6:25 I get up, get dressed, brush teeth, hopefully shave

6:35 I wake Claire up, carry her downstairs (still half asleep), and put her on the sofa.  This is her alarm + snooze time.  I try not to wake up Molly just yet.  I get her some breakfast, normally cereal and milk, maybe some bacon and/or fruit as well on a good day.  Also, usually a Claratin. We turn on a TV show to help wake Claire up.

6:40 I put food in Muffin’s bowl and top off her water.  While Claire is eating breakfast, I go back upstairs, give Muffin her incontinence pill, and let (or, force) her out.

6:45 Back downstairs to check on Claire and get Molly’s breakfast ready.  Molly always has a whole grain mini-bagel with cream cheese, whole milk, and Jimmy Dean sausage crumbles.  Plus maybe some bacon and/or fruit as well on a good day.

6:55 Back upstairs to let Muffin back in, who by now is scratching on the back door.  Then I get Molly up, a new diaper, and dressed.  Then downstairs together.

7:05 Start Molly on breakfast.  I like to have breakfast ready before she comes down so I can put her straight in her eating chair.  Otherwise she tends to get distracted by something and won’t focus on eating.  Tell Claire it’s time to get dressed.

7:10 Ice Claire’s lunch bag and grab Molly’s lunch box (Molly can use a refrigerator at school; Claire cannot).  Get lunches and any other random school items for the day (paperwork, swim suits, diaper refills, library books, etc.) together and hopefully out to the car.

7:15 Put shoes on Molly, give her her nose spray, and do her hair.  Usually Kit does Molly’s hair.  Let Molly keep eating.

7:20 Make sure Claire is dressed (usually she is, but sometimes needs a gentle reminder).  Make sure Claire has on her shoes and has brushed her hair too.  Also reminder her, if necessary, to take her dishes into the kitchen.  She likes to save these tasks for the very last minute.

7:25 Move everyone towards the car.  If we start at 7:25, we are usually pulling out of the driveway by 7:30.

The first bell at Claire’s school is at 7:40.  This gives us just enough time to get there, park, and walk to the room.  If we run behind on time, we have to do “Circle Drive” drop off to make up time, which means Claire hops out of the car and goes into school by herself.  She really prefers for Molly and I to walk in with her, so Circle Drive is an ever-present incentive to get going on time.

This routine took some work to get in place early in the year, and some occasional nagging to keep on track throughout the year, but mostly it ran on autopilot once established.  This is such an engrained routine that Claire wakes up at 6:30 or earlier even on the weekends unless she’s completely exhausted, in which case she might sleep in until 6:45 or 7:00 at the latest.  I keep telling her to sleep in, but 7:00 is the very best she can do.  She always wants to get up and hang out before everyone else wakes up!